One Year Ago

May 28, 2008 Journal Entry - Holy God. That is all I can say. It was a whirlwind day filling out and faxing paperwork to Ohio, trying to get in touch with the agency there, getting our agency here coordinated with them. I had all kinds of questions about placement and the birthfather registry so the director told me to call her cell phone at 9 p.m.

Oh. My. Word.

She said they're planning for placement Saturday. "Which Saturday?" I asked. THIS SATURDAY! We had been operating under the assumption that it would still be several weeks.

May 31 is scheduled to be Gotcha Day. How did this happen?! God has answered every single request...and so I make my prayers known again:

- A free or inexpensive place to stay since we'll be in Ohio awhile (Praise the Lord, he gave a hotel close to Ed's parents and then a free place to stay with friends Heather & Jacob)

- Placement to actually be this Saturday 5/31 (YES, it was!) and for us to be able to return home in just a week (they told us 10 - 14 days, but once again God moved and we were home in a week!)

- An opportunity to have a family bonding time while we "vacation" in Ohio (It was priceless!)

In all of this, there have been moments I have teared up but I haven't been able to cry. It's not that I am emotionless or unfeeling. It's like I'm so overwhelmed I can barely stand it. I can't react. There's so much going on and I'm not numb but I am still trying to process it all.

And yet, I have to admit, after I hung up the phone with the director and fully explained what she said to Ed (who had been sitting right there but mostly getting a one-sided conversation) I had a meltdown. What are we doing? Are we ready? Can we handle this? Will he know us as his parents? Will we know him as our son? Will we be good parents? Will we bond immediately?

So many questions - so many emotions - and I just couldn't figure out if I should cry, laugh, scream, or shout at the thought that everything we waited for, what we had prayed earnestly for, was now being answered.

Holy God. How we praise you. How we worship your Holy name. For we have prayed for this child and you have given him to us. Bless you, Father, for blessing us with this miracle.