Peace I give...

Through all this, songs keep coming to mind. Music is in my soul. It ministers to every part of who I am.


Thank you, Candy, for reminding me of the song I'd recently sung in church "When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord. When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea. When I cry for help, oh hear me, Lord, and hold out your hand. Touch my life and still the raging storm in me." Such powerful words. Such a promise of what I need.


Today we learned the contents of the home were declared a total loss. What does that mean? Well, it means between fire, water, smoke and now the growing mold and mildew (oh the wretched smells coming from my once bath & body works wallflowers scented home!) everything INSIDE - all belongings - were declared a total loss. That means we can claim every single last piece of paper that was once in our home.


So for the past two days we've gone through every single room, every single box, and every single item that we could see or somewhat make out, cataloging and inventorying everything. And then there's the stuff we can't see. The stuff that's gone. Burned. Destroyed. And trying to wrack my brain of those items that once we called ours.


I admit. I had a meltdown today. At one point, Ed was being interviewed by the insurance investigator and the fire marshall (more on that later) and i thought I only had two more boxes to go...and then a delivery from ServPro showed up with about 10 more boxes. And I lost it. My wonderful neighbor was right there and let me "crash" on the front lawn while she helped dig through the boxes. I suppose if that's the first time I really broke down, I was allowed. In true "Carrie" style, I suppose I'm too honest. But, through all this, all i can say is it's real.

After the "investigation" it was declared that the fire started with the grill. It was accidental and still an exact cause seems to be unknown. We grilled last Thursday night and Ed knows he turned off the grill, but not the propane tank. The investigator also said our grill was much too large for our deck (insert the Tim the Toolman Grunt Argh Argh Argh). All in all, it was accidental.


It's also hard to believe that one week ago tonight is when this whirlwind journey began. Each day has been unplanned and unknown, sometimes changing by the minute. But through it all, I want you to hear me say that God is faithful! He's provided blessings along the way and has wrapped His loving arms around me - even in the middle of my meltdown!