Feeding the Flock

We're still on the swirling spinning thriller ride called "Adoption". I liken it to that first big hill that you climb ... and climb ... and climb ... Every part of you anticipates the dramatic drop that will surely throw your stomach into your throat. Once you're down the hill, you gain momentum on the straight-away, only to feel the course violently jerk as you take a sharp turn.

Last week I got to meet the girls currently staying at the Godparent Home. It was so awkward - at first - because of the obvious reasons we were all there. There were birthmoms, waiting moms, adoptive moms. Those who had experienced a miracle, those waiting for one, and others just praying for strength to make it through another day. I met girls far too young to be mothers, but that did not hide the obvious. Their growing bellies seemed a stark contrast to the braces on their teeth. Everything in me wanted to hope they didn't think I was there 'shopping'. I was more than aware of the reality that one of them just might be carrying my future son (or daughter - don't tell Ed I said that!). But I was so conscious to make sure they also knew I genuinely cared about them.

Some of them shared their stories with me. One girl came up and said she thought I was beautiful. Another one noticed how we both put hearts over the "i's" in our names. Before long, I found myself surrounded by 5 or 6 of them. In that moment, I wasn't aware that they were pregnant unwed mothers. I was only aware of the fact that they were teenage girls who I was able to connect with. I was in my element. It was just like my college days when we'd travel to a church and I would find myself in the middle of a pack of teenagers. For some reason, my personality has always been the shepharder. I was so thankful I could be myself and they could be comfortable enough with me for us to look past the real reasons we were both there.

I told Ed that once we're on the 'other side' and we have been able to adopt, I want to minister to them. I want to hang out with them, invite them to our home, let them see a godly example of a husband and wife and adoptive parents. I pray for God to use me in this ministry.

What has resulted is an awareness of praying for them by name. I don't know if they will parent or place; I don't know if one of them will choose us; all I know is the situation they each find themselves in will forever change lives. I pray for them. I pray for the children they're bearing. I pray for the waiting families they may choose to parent their children. God has brought me face-to-face with the question, "Do I love his sheep?" My answer...I want to tend the flock.